I have to say, I am doing pretty good at concurring this statement. You see, I have a wonderfully clean house, car, and I am typically put together with the latest outfit I found on pinterest. I have tons of achievement on my wall including degrees, licensure, and even a certificate for my induction to the honor society. Oh and my marriage, you wouldn't believe how incredibly loving and kind my husband is. We get along so well, we spend time together, and he supports me in everything I do. Goodness... I guess I really do have it all together!
YUCK!!! Have I lost you yet... Just reading the above statements makes me want to vomit and I wrote it! Truly though these are the types of ideas I unintentionally give people all of the time. Instead of being real about my life I try to give this pretentious view of what I think people want to see. I try to display all of the great things in my life (even if they are exaggerated) to blind them from seeing all of the dirty, messy, and imperfect areas I think they would reject.
The scripture from 1 Peter challenges me. It would be easy for me to twist this scripture to support my maladaptive behaviors into being biblical. The key to understanding this verse is to define "good." Good living isn't God living when I am using my standards of good rather than God's. Also, the scripture isn't telling me to show people how good I am but is telling me to show how good God is. To further understand this concept 1 Peter 2:16 states, "Live as free men but do not use your freedom as a cover for evil; live as servants of God." To live in freedom.. wow! I wonder what that would be like. To live in freedom from expectations, people pleasing, and freedom from the bondage of my lies (let's be honest lying is exactly what it is). Instead of using this freedom for evil I am told to use it to serve God and promote him. I have been doing much the opposite. I have been in pursuit of my own evil desires for self seeking rewards. Goodness, I have had it all wrong.
In actuality, yes I do have many blessings in my life but no they are not what I portray them to be. Trying to demonstrate perfectionism comes at a price. All of the "achievement" has produced student loans, stress, and broken relationships. My clean house is a constant battle and I am forever trying to keep messes from happening. My marriage isn't perfect by any means and we fight. We have problems and we don't always enjoy the time we spend together. We get on each others nerves, we say hurtful things, and there is more than one occasion where we have gone to bed terribly angry. As far as those outfits that I have put together.. most are from goodwill.
No, I am not perfect and yes I am going to start trying to live life as though I understand that fact. I am hoping to take these revelations and make them into change agents. Not as a method to become "more perfect' but to become less. To make this applicable in real life I am going to ask for God to show me how he wants the world to see HIM through me. I don't want to promote myself any longer! More of him and less of me!